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At first he had thought it was just his imagination, but as time went by, he became more and more sure that something was off, or wrong, or both. Water was becoming an obsession of some sort, and as if that wasn’t enough he was contentiously having the strangest nightmares about water and drowning in it. He had talked with Derek about it, but neither of them had a good idea about what this could all be about.

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“How about a trip, to take you mind off things?”
“Anywhere particular in mind?”
“Well, there is that Volcano we talked about?”
“Ooooh.”

He wasn’t sure if Derek was worried or not, if he was, he did a very good job of hiding it. He mostly seemed to be like he always was, although there was the occasion where he noticed him looking out a window as if far far away.

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“Ehm… are you sure this is safe?”
“It’s a volcano… are they ever safe?”

It was a good point, he had to admit, but it was also really cool standing so close, and the heat coming from the crater was quite the experience.

“Look.”

He pointed at a butterfly who was gently flying around them. It would seem they easily adapted to the heat up here, as when they noticed one, they suddenly noticed a lot more.

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“What?”

They had stood there, when he suddenly noticed a change in Toshi, like he was dragged somewhere else again like so many times lately.

“I don’t know… I feel like I should be going somewhere, but I don’t want to. I…”

Derek just pulled him close, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t worried, and that it hurt to have Toshi in many ways so distant, like he was constantly not quite present.

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“look, whatever this is, we will find out and you need to stop blaming yourself for it.”
“But.”
“No, it could be that we talked to spirits, it could be anything. And until we know, you are not going to walk around and feel like you are doing anything wrong.”

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“We’ll figure it out.”

He could feel Toshi relax a little more, but he was still not quite back to his old self.

“Now.. come on, let’s go home, and you can try and get some sleep.”
“Okay.”

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