3:8 – The Siren

It felt like he was drowning this time, as he was falling deeper and deeper into the water. Then like before there was a voice, and he instantly knew it was the same one.

“Let me help.”

Every fiber of his body shuddered as the thing kissed him, he could feel how his lungs were filled with air, and there was a sudden calm he hadn’t felt in so long.

“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why am I here.”
“Because you wanted to?”

Did he want too, was that actually even possible? He was happy with Derek, he didn’t want anyone else, but why did this then feel soo, right?”

“I didn’t.”
“Then why come back?”
“I…”

In the back of his head he knew this was wrong, but if it was, then how come it felt so right at the same time. Was this the power off the siren song? Had Derek been right all along.

“I shouldn’t be doing this.”
“Yet you are?”
“Stop it, please?”
“I am not doing anything?”

He could feel himself give in, the small voice in the back of his head screaming at him it was wrong almost going silent as their encounter went on.

“No…”

The man looked at him, a sad look he had no idea how to interpret.

“Go home Toshi.”

He jerked up form the bed, Ollie looking at him with a worried look on his face.

“FUCK!”

He felt nauseous, dirty, filthy and worst of all, he felt like he had just cheated on Derek. If it had been just a dream, how could he feel so… bad?

The feeling still lingered as he stumbled himself into the shower, trying to wash off how bad he felt without much success. Ollie following him sitting next to him on the side of the bath.

“Mrow.”
“How do I tell him this.”
“Mew.”
“Honestly huh?”

He wasn’t sure that was what the cat actually said, but it was what he knew to be right. But it would hurt him, he was sure off it, and that was just about the last thing he wanted.

He wondered if he should call, ask him to come home, and then just tell him all of it, and let it be with that. Take what might come his way from pretty much cheating on his boyfriend.

“Toshi?”

He could literally feel himself shrink in size hearing Derek’s voice, and as much as one part of him wanted to throw himself at him and scream and cry, the part that was too ashamed held him back.

“I am taking you sitting here meaning the dream thing worked?”
“Yes..”
“And?”
“I am pretty sure it is a siren.”
“Okay?”
“Derek.. I…”

He felt himself pulled up and into Derek’s arms, which lead to him breaking down completely, the screaming he had wanted to do earlier ending up semi muffled into his chest.

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